Confusion can happen at any moment.
Confusion is just that…confusing.
Confusion can be frustrating, especially when it comes with the caveat of a needed decision.
- What do you do when you know what you want and you can’t have what you want so you have to find something new?
- What do you do when you think you know what you want and you are told it’s not possible so you have you look in a new direction?
- What do you do when you have what you think you want but are told it has to change?
- What do you do when you’ve done the work to look somewhere else and you found, not just one but two valid possibilities?
YOU MAKE A DECISION
Decisions can be just as frustrating. It’s hard enough to make a decision when you don’t see any options or when there are two options presented. It’s worse when there are three. Because then you can take those three options and make SO MANY MORE.
All of this reminds me of Cinderella’s lament from Into the Woods.
“You think, what do you want?
You think, make a decision…It’s my first big decision,
The choice isn’t easy to make.”
Too often people decide not to decide. They put off the decision. They leave it until it’s too late and they lose out on a better life or at least the opportunity of one. They might even hurt the ones they profess to care for through their indecision.
Decisions may be hard and even sometimes painful, but you have to make them. Life does not go on without decisions.
How do you make the right decision?
Well, I can’t tell you the RIGHT way for you or even for every situation.
I can only tell you what I do.
Start with the pros and cons of the situation. Are the pros and cons equal? Are there more pros than cons or vice versa? Are the pros and cons equivalent? Can they even be compared? Does your list contain feelings or logic or both?
I would tell you to eliminate the feelings, at least initially. To me, if you are going to do a Pros & Cons list, feelings can’t be there. This is supposed to be the logical part. Feelings and intuition will come into play later.
Once the list is done, look at it. Does it make sense? Do you get any sense there is a distinct way to go? YES? Great, you probably made your decision and it was rather quick. NO? Unsure? Yep, you’re like me. You probably somehow, intentionally or unintentionally, made sure the lists were equal in length. Yep…you and I have a problem. Our need to have things even made it so the list isn’t as helpful as it is intended to be.
So what next?
I say…look at that list again. Is there anything on the list that when push comes to shove you would say it’s not really important? Is there anything on one side or the other on that list that you simply dismiss because you really have already made your decision, you are just prolonging the potential joy or agony?
For me, sometimes the list tells me everything I need to know. Sometimes it tells me what I already knew. Sometimes, it doesn’t seem to really help at all.
So…I ask again…what next?
If you have faith of any kind, this is the time to use it. If your faith is a huge part of who you are, I would recommend praying since that is one of the inherent qualities of having any kind of faith. If not, keep trying with different logical situations and deeply ponder it. Talk to friends, etc. Either way, process completely yet don’t take too long. You don’t want something to pass you by that would benefit you, your family and/or others you are intending to help or work with. You may also have to process quickly because you are given a time limit. We all know that adds to the stress but is sometimes a necessary requirement of an organization.
Confusion?…Process and make a Decision.